--S.P.L.I.T--

Suppose that you have a person, A, who exists at some time, and a person, B, who exists
at some later time. A theory of personal identity is a theory which tries to answer the
question: what does it take for A and B to be the same person?

~
Note that this is not a theory which described how we usually recognize and identify
people. For example, I usually recognize you by some combination of your appearance
and where in the room you sit. But of course two of you could, in an elaborate prank,
change seats and have extensive reconstructive surgery which made each of you look much
like the other. But this would not mean that either of you became the other person.

~
It is surprisingly dicult to come up with a theory of personal identity which is not open
to obvious objections. For example, you might be at rst inclined to suggest that A and
B are the same person if and only if they have the same body. But now consider `body
swapping' examples of the sort you might see in movies. Many people think that this sort
of thing at least makes sense, and so is in one sense possible; but if it is, doesn't that
mean that A and B might be the same person even if they do not share a body?

~
Furthermore, what does it even mean to have the same body? You're constantly gaining
and losing cells, so that your body now has hardly anything in common with your body
10 years ago. But does this mean that you really are not the same person now as you
were then? Surely not.

~
A second initial thought is that A and B are the same person if they have the same per-
sonality, or the same consciousness, or the same memory. But, again, there are problems
here. You don't have the same memories, or exactly the same personality, as you had a
year ago; but that doesn't mean that you are not the same person.

~

Suppose that you met someone who, by some strange chance, had personalities and memories more similar to yours now than yours now are to the you of 5 years ago. Would you think that that person was identical to you, or as much the same person as you as the you of 5 years ago?

~

~
phil 20229
JeSpeaks
February 14, 2008

~

~http://www.nd.edu/~jspeaks/courses/20229/_HANDOUTS/personal-identity-teletransport-split-brain.pdf

--Understanding Women--

You want = You want

~

We need = I want

~

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

~

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

~

We need to talk = I need to complain

~

Sure... go ahead = I don’t want you to.

~

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

~

You’re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

~

You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

~

I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period.

~

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

~

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

~

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

~

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

~

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

~

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

~

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

~

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.

~

I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

~

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

~

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

~

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]

~

Yes = No

~

No = No

~

Maybe = No

~

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

~

Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.

~

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

~

I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

~

The same old thing = Nothing

~

Nothing = Everything

~

Everything = My PMS is acting up

~

Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an asshole

~

I don’t want to talk about it = Go away, I’m still building up steam

~

~By anisha

~

~http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/2-24-2002-12089.asp

--50 Universal Truths About Men--

1. Why should I remind you that “I love you?” I already told you once.

~
2. I’ll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.

~
3. I hate arguing with you. I’d much rather find a compromise.

~
4. I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.

~
5. When you speak softly, I can’t help but listen.

~
6. I need to be told “no” sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.

~
7. Please don’t ask me how you look unless you’re willing to trust my answer.

~
8. My eyes notice other women a lot more when you are upset with me.

~
9. When you’re happy with me I can’t help but want to please you.

~
10. If I don’t feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel helpless.

~
11. I expect you to be ready when I pick you up.

~
12. Cigarettes make any woman look cheap and easy.

~
13. I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me.

~
14. If you can’t stand up to me when I’m a brat, you’re too weak for me to open up to when I’m upset.

~
15. Sitting quietly next to me after you’ve made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You’ll be surprised how quickly I can forgive.

~
16. You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I’m considering leaving you.

~
17. I don’t read minds. Remember, I’m not a girl.

~
18. You may know fashion, but I wish you’d dress to please me, not other women.

~
19. If I’m losing my hair, it’s not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight?

~
20. When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I listened to you talk about what is important to you.

~

21. The woman I love is easy to please. She appreciates the effort I put into making her happy, even if I get the details wrong.

~
22. You look hot in a dress.

~
23. I hate being told what to do when I don't ask for help. It makes me feel you're my mother.

~
24. If you sleep over, I might eventually marry you, but I'm less motivated.

~
25. During sex my ears are as sensitive to your words as your skin is to my touch.

~
26. I need some type of signal or cue to walk across the room and approach you. What if you’re married!?

~
27. It makes me feel like you trust me when you ask for my advice.

~
28. It feels competitive when you insist on being in charge.

~
29. Being respected is more important to me that being loved.

~
30. I want every guy to envy me when we arrive as a couple. Please don’t let yourself go.

~
31. When I’m upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say it is more important that what you say..

~
32. I hate it when you minimize/ignore my compliments. It makes me want to stop giving them.

~
33. I’m more insecure than you think. Why do you think I need your respect so much?

~
34. I don’t always know how I feel. That’s why I don’t tell you.

~
35. I don’t need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you.

~

36. If I do one thing and say something contradictory – Go with my actions, that will always tell you what’s in my heart.

~
37. I find myself wanting to please you when you simply smile at me without asking for something. (Like a favor).

~
38. I really don’t want to hear about any of your ex-boyfriends, regardless of the point you are trying to make.

~
39. If I don’t share what I’m thinking it’s because I don’t think you will listen without interrupting.

~
40. I don’t like to argue and I don’t like to guess what’s wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it.

~
41. I love it when you put your hair in a pony tail. Yes, it’s a Freudian thing.

~
42. Don’t ask me, “Are you going to wear that?” when I’m already dressed.

~
43. A gentleman should always be respected by his lady in public, even if she is disagreeing with him.

~
44. If you don’t believe you’re pretty, you won’t believe me when I tell you, no matter how many times I say it.

~
45. It isn’t how much you weigh; it’s that your body is proportionate which is so attractive.

~
46. Sometimes I have weird and strange thoughts. I don’t take them seriously and I don’t want to share them with you (or anyone).

~
47. Sometimes you really don’t want to know what I’m thinking. See above.

~
48. If you cheat on me, it is nearly impossible for me to get over it.

~
49. I don’t remember everything about our relationship and that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

~
50. I need some time to myself to calm down when I’m upset so that I don’t say something I will regret.

~

~By: Bob Grant, L.P.C. “The Relationship Doctor”

~

~http://www.relationshipheadquarters.com/50truthsaboutmen3.htm

--Will He Ever Marry You?--

You and your guy may be a better match than PB&J, but that won't make him propose. Psychologist Alon Gratch, Ph.D., reveals the tipping factor that will.

~

Every chick knows how hard it is when she puts in serious time with a guy who refuses to commit ... until he moves on to his next girlfriend, and then suddenly, he's springing for a rock. Women assume that a guy will pop the question once he finds someone he's compatible with, i.e., The One. But that's not enough to push him over the edge, according to clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, Ph.D., author of If Men Could Talk. What, then, does it take?

~

"Being ready," says Gratch. "In my 25 years of experience working with men as a relationship therapist, it's 49 percent the right woman, 51 percent his readiness to commit." That means that compatibility is hugely important. But if he's not in a marriage mind-set yet, he's not going to commit to anyone ... not even Gisele.

~

In fact, 81 percent of the married men surveyed by the National Marriage Project said one reason they decided to wed was because it was the right time to settle down.

~

"Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still needs to find the right person," says Gratch. "But he is more likely to meet her once he's in that marrying state of mind." To help us figure it all out, we asked Gratch to explain. Here, he divulges the five factors that make a man want to take the plunge.

~

COMMITMENT FACTOR #1

~

The Capacity to Love

No matter how head-over-heels your guy is during the initial honeymoon period of the relationship, it doesn't mean he is ready to commit. A man might fall in love, which requires the capacity to idealize. That means thinking and feeling like his partner and the relationship are uniquely special, enabling him to ignore imperfections, which, in turn, makes him feel valued and special.

~

Loving, on the other hand, involves connecting with the other person, understanding her, and wanting to be with her for who she is, not who he'd like her to be.

~

While it might be difficult to decipher the difference between the two, one clue is the test of time. Falling in love happens early on in a relationship, when a couple barely knows each other. Once they become more intimate and learn more about each other's positive and negative traits and the initial love buzz is gone, a man who is only in love will lose interest. If he truly loves, he'll stay.

~

Another major telltale sign of real love is selflessness and the ability to care. Does your man make sacrifices for you? Is he able to put your wants and needs before his? Relationships are all about give and take, but love is more about giving.

~

COMMITMENT FACTOR #2

~
Being Able to Accept Imperfection

Intellectually, we all know that there are no perfect people and, therefore, no perfect relationships. But it often takes maturity and dating experience to actually believe it.

~

Take a client of mine, who broke up with a wonderful woman simply because he thought he could do better. A year later, he met someone else, who was also great but far from perfect. After two years of dating, he decided to propose. If he had met her a few years earlier, he would have broken up with her too. But now, he realizes that this is as good as it gets, though it took him several relationships to finally understand that.

~

Having unrealistic expectations makes it impossible for a man to develop a close bond. If a guy who isn't ready starts getting too close to a woman, he'll look for imperfections, either consciously or subconsciously, to create distance between them and, ultimately, to give him a reason to break up with her.

~

COMMITMENT FACTOR #3

~
He Truly Believes in Commitment

Even if a man tells you that he's in it for the long term, you won't really know the level of his staying power until you hit some rough patches. If he's not ready, he won't be able to handle the negative aspects of a relationship, and he'll either shut down — and shut you out — or bail. A man who is truly ready to bond will be willing to work with you to try to resolve whatever problems the two of you are having.

~

This doesn't mean that he'll never experience any doubts or even think about leaving. But at the end of the day, he'll realize that his relationship is a top priority, and whatever discomfort he might have to endure to work out the kinks is worth it. It's a trade-off he's willing to make.

~

COMMITMENT FACTOR #4

~
He's Sure He Can Be the Man

Even though stereotypical gender roles have loosened up and many men are no longer required to be the breadwinners, a lot of guys still worry, deep down, that they should be ... and a lot of women still expect it. So if a guy feels that he can't live up to his — or his partner's — expectations, he might put off getting seriously involved to avoid feeling like he's not capable. It's a way for him to protect his ego.

~

According to the National Marriage Project, 47 percent of men agree that they wouldn't want to get married until they could afford to own a home, and 40 percent would want to be able to afford a nice wedding.

~

But it's not just the money — or lack thereof — that will cause a guy to shy away from commitment. If a guy is putting all of his time and energy into pursuing a goal, whether it's climbing the corporate ladder or working toward finishing medical school, he just won't have anything left to give to a partner, both physically and emotionally. So he puts romance on the back burner.

~

Now that's not to say he will never want to pop the question. If your man is floundering careerwise or struggling to make ends meet, it might be in your interest to bide your time and wait for him to become ready. Of course, it depends on the dynamic between the two of you. But if he seems fully engaged in the relationship, clearly states that he wants to get married after he accomplishes whatever goal he has been working on, and his time frame is reasonable, your patience could eventually pay off.

~

COMMITMENT FACTOR #5

~
He's Tired of Playing Around

While there's no specific age at which men are ready to marry (nor do they all mature at the same rate), after a while, going from one superficial relationship to another begins to lose its allure, and they crave a deeper kind of bond with someone.

~

This more intimate mind-set may be expedited if all the guy's friends are starting to settle down. For one thing, it becomes harder for him to find buddies to party with. But more important, with everyone around him getting more serious about their relationships, he's more likely to reflect on what he wants in life. Though bachelorhood can be fun and exciting, it's often emotionally unfulfilling. And ultimately, at some point, most men want to have that soul-mate connection.

~

The Art of the Ultimatum

Three times when it might pay to nudge him a bit

~

He Has a Legit Excuse
If you really think the two of you click but he's stalling because he's temporarily focused on something else, like finishing grad school, give him a firm deadline (e.g., till he reaches his goal).

~
He Needs to Rethink His Priorities
Say he's a jock and you hate sports, but he wishes you had that in common. Is it so important to him that he's willing to risk losing you? (Note: If the answer is yes, you don't want him anyway.)

~
He's Chronically Indecisive
Some guys are reluctant because they can't make a decision. He's not afraid of committing to you; he's just afraid of committing. If that sounds like your man, he might need prodding to get off the proverbial fence. Just tell him that you want him to be in your life, but if he can't make a decision in the next couple of months, you'll have to move on. Warning: If you issue an ultimatum, you'd better be prepared to stick to it.

~

~By Alon Gratch, PhD

~

~http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/couplesandmarriage/articlecosmo.aspx?cp-documentid=8361783&GT1=32001

--BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE--

Our Birth is our Opening Balance !
~
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
~
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
~
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
~
Heart is our Current Asset
~
Soul is our Fixed Asset
~
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
~
Thinking is our Current Account
~
Achievements are our Capital
~
Character & Morals, our Stock- in -Trade
~
Friends are our General Reserves
~
Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill
~
Patience is our Interest Earned
~
Love is our Dividend
~
Children are our Bonus Issues
~
Education is Brands / Patents
~
Knowledge is our Investment
~
Experience is our Premium Account
~
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
~
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.
~
~
Some very Good and Very bad things ....

The most destructive habit......................Worry
The greatest Joy...............................Giving
The greatest loss................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work...............Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.............Selfishness
The most endangered species.........Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource...............Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"..........Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill........Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease............Excuses
The most powerful force in life..................Love
The most dangerous pariah..................A gossiper
The world's most in credible computer........The brain
The worst thing to be without................... Hope
The deadliest weapon.......................The tongue
The two most power-filled words..............."I Can"
The greatest asset..............................Faith
The most worthless emotion..................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire......................SMILE!
The most prized possession................Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication.....Prayer
The most contagious spirit.................Enthusiasm
The most important thing in life..................SELF

~
mingyong117@gmail.com

--Reverse Psychology--

If you've ever suffered even mildly from insomnia, you'll know that the human brain is a badly made piece of equipment. If you deliberately try to use it to focus on falling asleep, you'll not only fail, but actually exhaust yourself more. You'd demand a refund if you bought a lawn mower that made your grass grow longer or a kettle that made tap-water freeze - yet such flaws seem built into us. Seriously: it's almost enough to make me doubt my otherwise rock-solid belief in Intelligent Design.

~

Thankfully, we have the ingenious piece of psychological trickery known as the "symptom-prescription", originally attributed to the Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, best-known for work inspired by his own direct experience as a concentration camp survivor. If you're plagued with anxiety, Frankl observed, then trying to stop feeling anxious will only compound the situation. If you blush easily in public, any attempt to stop will just make you acutely aware of how much you're blushing, and embarrassed about the blushing itself. A symptom-prescription is exactly what it says: an instruction to focus your attention on trying to do more, not less, of whatever is causing you a problem. One cognitive psychologist, Rian McMullin, reports having successfully used the method with compulsive hand-washers: when asked to wash their hands many more times than they felt compelled to, they slowly managed to exert conscious control over the behaviour, and then reduce it.

~

Perhaps this particular strain of reverse psychology is also what's at play in the famous parenting principle known as Smoke The Whole Pack, and which doesn't receive much official endorsement these days (though I know of several people who swear that being made to do this, after their mother or father discovered them trying a cigarette, is why they don't smoke today). You can use the principle on yourself less aggressively, though. If you're beset by worries, choose a specific time and place for worrying about things, then go there at the appointed hour and focus on nothing but worrying, suggests Beverley Potter, in her book The Worrywart's Companion. Or if you're procrastinating on a work project, try sitting at your desk and energetically doing nothing at all for a full hour: it's close to impossible.

~

In the same spirit, though the detail is a little different, the blogger Marc Andreessen, presents his list of productivity tips at tinyurl.com/yq7skx. They're not all for everyone, but his "anti-to-do list" may change your life. Take a blank piece of paper, he suggests, and write things down on it only after you've done them, rather than spending all day confronting a long and depressing list of uncompleted tasks. "Each time you do something, you get to write it down and you get that little rush of endorphins that the mouse gets every time he presses the button in his cage and gets a food pellet," Andreessen writes.

~

Deep down at the level of our brain-wiring, we may all be rodents in cages, but at least we can aspire to be happy ones.

~

~

~The Guardian

~

~oliver.burkeman@guardian.co.uk

~

~http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/health/story/0,,2120637,00.html

~

~http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_psychology